JAVS Spring 2023

possible that there is lack of attention going on in other aspects of parenting.

approach, and consider, What happened in the past to the student, and how does this impact what is happening now? Ask the student questions to establish rapport and friendship, and then teach from this perspective, from this place of curiosity. And always, uphold empathy. This is the foundation of non-judgmental teaching and compassionate engagement. By allowing spontaneous conversations to occur, there can be mental healing, leading to musical enjoyment and more relaxed music-making. In my trauma-informed lessons with Ann, I have discovered this beautiful world that I never knew before. The natural flow of storytelling , musings, humor, as well as venting of anger and frustration, hatred, and dark, ugly feelings. But the music we play, isn’t it supposed to express all spectrums of human emotion? Therefore, lessons can be a place where a violist can verbally articulate such feelings, safely entering such dark spaces, and then emerging safely again, now ready to infuse that intensity into performing. In my therapeutic work (completely separate from music making), I recognize that comfortable conversations are vital to building rapport and trust. For music educators, this can be transferred as such: rapport with a student is built not only in the process of teaching performance on the instrument, but also through what we say to the student conversationally. By acknowledging the person, we move beyond the grooming of an instrumentalist, to really nourishing the soul of the person, helping them grow into a person that is comfortable with expressing the full pallet of human emotions on the instrument, with nothing too dark or ugly to express. That is also a beauty of the viola, our atonal repertoire. Perhaps this is why I love the instrument also: it sustains ugliness.

I don’t expect viola instructors to have the expertise in navigating family dynamics to rescue abused children in a pre-college setting. Nor can instructors have the expertise to provide therapy for adolescent or adult students who are mentally grieving. Yet these scenarios happen, as I have experienced in my own life. We must be brave and face this reality, that students may have past or present histories of trauma. And as violists, we have unique experiences that make us best equipped to help viola students in need. Such as the scenario I have introduced at the beginning of this essay: What inspired you to take up the viola? If we start sharing about why we play the viola, this perhaps is a good place for us to start identifying mutualities, fundamental aspects of ourselves that are shared by others. I recall my college days in conservatory: I took lessons not only because I wanted to play professionally, but because music is a way of life for me. It is a way of perceiving the world, it gives my life dignity when I am in adverse circumstances. Given my moderately disadvantaged background, I never had the opportunity to commiserate with elite musicians until college. Once I arrived, I longed to have philosophical conversations with teachers, and I felt deep stirrings within me as a reaction to the music I studied. All this clashed with the grief of hiding my depression while studying in a competitive environment. But in conservatory, 15 years ago, I never found anyone to converse with about these sentiments. I wondered, do other musicians have these same ideas? Or am I a freak for thinking this way? Thus, I felt very alone. And as I developed schizoaffective disorder, I felt further alone. These days, my conversations with Ann have helped to answer these questions, and I now feel more whole and complete as a musical human being. I implore our community to consider: if you have a viola student who is not practicing, or is not prepared for lessons, or has performance anxiety, or has problems with remembering music, ask why? What is the story behind this struggle ? Take on a trauma-informed

But what do you think?

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Journal of the American Viola Society / Vol. 39, No. 1, Spring 2023