JAVS Fall 2005

in her pocket). Dirty Mary: (gulping sounds) slurs: I love me mates! We cook a bit fer ea' other wo! Who wants churn-brownies?

laging-(long silence) Pegleg Jack: Photography. .. of th' lootin' and pillagin.' Calico Tom: Ha' ye heard me weeldy radio show, "Home Prairie Pillagin' wi' Cal ico Tom?" Dread Pirate Vane: (spears a chum brownie with the tip of a bow) I do lawnmower art...

Iron Roger: Breal

Calico Tom: Yarrrgh!! Me swash is already budded! Pass th' grog!!

Rabid Betsy: Hml one o'er here, lass!

Cali co Tom: (fu ll mouth) Ngwe mmnph camaraderie (random sounds ofmunching and agree ment: "Arr!" "Close-knit crew!" "mmm! Good brownies!" "Avast! Th' family T never had!")

D read Pirate Vane: Harrr! Harr! Avast!! Pass me those fried parrot-legs, laddie!

Pegleg Jack: Yarrr, arrrr, harrrgh! (sings, tO the tune of a Bral1ms Vio la Sonata) "STICK yer CUTlass in my BILGE-bucket ... "

Dirty Ma1y: I do enjoy a wee bir o' beadwork now and again.. . wi' me grog.

Candy Casey: 1 know where Bloody Bess keeps 'er candy stash.

Iron Roger: Plunderin' an' baseball.

Iron Anne: (glug glug glug)--

Cap'n Morgan: Always liked bringin' up West Highland Terriers... (apol ogizing) T hey's tougher'n they look!

The cape ends here, degenerati ng into various noises of glugging, swash-budding, and snatches of sea shanties- Strangely aU in me keys of E-flat major and F mino r. The AVS representative, along with the cmirc a-ew of che Sl,jp o' the Festerin' Callus, was never seen again. Recently, on d e.·u nights off tl1e coast of Bmma (Myanmar), reports have been made of strange Aickering lights, smells of chum-brownies, and snatches of snig gering laughter, pLJJlO"Uated by the mys terious phrase "Thas what SHE said!" Rita Potjitis (BLoody Bess Kidd), a member ofthe Houston Symphony 1iofa section (Ship o' the Festerin' CaLLus) since 1995, was born to Lily Livered landLubbers. She received both her BM(bfimey mate) and MM(rnizzenmast) in swash-buck Ling from the juiLLiard Schooffor Pitaticaf Studies. in addition to her pLundering duties on the SOTFC, she also teaches young impressionable buccaneers the fine art ofbuckLing swash at the Uni11ersity ofHouston. Amgh!

Bloody Bess: (affectionately) Scurvy cur! If! d.in't like yer nancy-Broadway singin' ways, l'd plant me cutlass in the top of yer pointy head .

Iron Anne: C raftin'- see? Me parrot is made from beads and macaroni.

AVS: "nancy-Broadway singing ways"?

Rabid Betsy: I raise bulldogs, arr!! Because they go "arr!!"

Dread Pirate Vane: Aye, on slow plundcrin' nights ou r lad Casey moonlights wi' th' Best Little Klezmer Band .in Texas, an' Bloody Bess may keep a banjo or two in the brig. Candy Casey: Yarrrgh , an' now we' ll have to make ye walk the plank fer knowi n' Iron Roger: (giggles) THA'S WHAT HE SAID!!!! YE POX FACED--- (sounds of glugging)

Bloody Bess: BLtlldogs? Th' best per fer a buccaneer is a can o' stewed turnips in chum sauce! AVS: I have to say, all this talk of candy and chum sauce is making me hungry... .is there anyth ing. . ... .

Candy Casey: 'Ere you go me pret ty, 'ave some candy.

Bloody Bess: Sink me! Get yer bar nacle-crusted hooks off me candy! Try these stewed turnjps in chum sauce. ...damn! [ ate me pet!

AVS: Uh, speaking of hobbies, what arc some of your hobbies?

Rabid Betsy: Lootin'.

D irty Ma ry: A tot o' grog' ll do ye quite nicely, lass.

Candy Casey: Pillagin' .

Cap' n Mo rgan: Tote me a wee tot too, Mary...

AVS: Aside from looring and pi l

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